Have you ever heard of a married single mom? I hadn’t either until it innocently slipped from my mouth when I was explaining my marital status to a few ladies I met. I was at a book club meeting for the first time and of course we all had to introduce ourselves. As everyone is going around introducing themselves, I start coming up with my intro in my head. I’m such the over thinker. What will I say? I’m clearly walking around with my wedding ring on, so they will know I’m married. But, if I don’t mention my husband but mention my kids, that looks crazy. Should I just tell them where he is? Uh…think quick…It’s almost your turn!
Hi! I’m Danielle, and I’m married but single. The looks on their faces were like, is she crazy? Married but single? What does that mean? If I’m not mistaken, one girl even asked, “You’re married but single?” I can’t help but laugh at myself at how crazy that sounds. So, I went on and explained my situation. I’m married but my husband is in prison. We have two children and I function as a single mom. “Oh, ok… we get it.” One of the girls even went on to explain that a family member of hers was in a similar situation. I truly appreciated that the girls weren’t judgmental.
Although my husband is in prison, I do my best to keep him in the loop of things. The system definitely isn’t designed to assist you with keeping your family together. Honestly, if you don’t fight to keep your family together, it will be destroyed. Part of being a married single mom is making sure that we still make decisions together about major things. Especially the kids. When my daughter spent the night away for the first time, it wasn’t a decision I made on my own. We decided that together. They know that I’m going to run whatever it is by their dad before a final answer is given just as if he were at home. So to my married single moms, don’t forget to make an extra effort to include your husband in the decision making process. He may be away but the children will still feel his presence.
One less thought …
Real Wife
Thank you so much for your blog! Married single Mom sums it up, doesn’t it? Thank you for your honesty and openness we all desperately need. My boyfriend has been incarcerated for 7 years, it’s been very difficult for our boys and our relationship. But you just move on and do your best. Only 18 months to go, a light at the end of the tunnel. But so many people just don’t understand the commitment, it’s frustrating. Again, thank you for your post.
You are so welcome! The commitment is definitely challenging. We never truly know how our children feel. This is why it’s so important to continue to have an open and honest relationship with them. Glad to see that you don’t have too much longer! I’m sure you’re starting to prepare for your boyfriend coming home because that will be an adjustment for everyone as well but a welcomed one. I wish you the best, you deserve it!