I can’t believe four years have already passed since me and the Mr. said I do!  This week four years ago two of my sister-friends went with me to take that leap.  I often dreamed of my dream wedding, like most ladies do.  You know, the colors? Who would be my bridesmaids? Where would it be?  Who would attend? All that good stuff!  Of course, I never imagined a prison wedding! But,  hey it’s not about the wedding it’s about true unconditional love, right?  And boy if this isn’t unconditional, I don’t know what is!  LOL!

Being that this was a “prison wedding” all the intricate details in my head had to be put on hold because… I had to follow the guidelines of the prison!  Only two people could accompany me.  My parents couldn’t attend because they stayed with our kids.  That’s why I was so grateful for such great friends.  We left in the early morning hours headed to South Carolina.  We had to be there before the close of the business day to get the marriage license.  We made it there within 30 minutes of closing.  Then we drove to our hotel close to the prison.  They both treated me by driving there and back.  Nothing like getting good sleep on a long ride.

When we got there, we went out to eat and my sister-friends surprised me with my wedding gifts! They did everything to make this non-traditional wedding as traditional as they possibly could. We had a good time talking, laughing, crying and reminiscing about how we planned our lives when we were younger and the routes our lives have led us to today.  Not that our lives are in bad places, just that we could have never predicted the obstacles that have come our way.

Even when making the decision to marry the Mr. it was a decision that took a lot of thought and prayer.  We had been together and even engaged prior to his arrest but I didn’t make the decision until I believed it was the right time.   It was one of the scariest decisions I’ve ever made. One because it was so against the norm, and it came with so much judgment.  Two, would I get tired, would I be lonely?  I can honestly say, I had more lonely days prior to his incarceration, simply because I’ve learned to depend on God in those lonely moments.  Do I miss him? Of course.  But I’m not lonely and I haven’t experienced that feeling in a while Thank God!

On that morning, I  remember being nervous.  I think I was more nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.  I wondered would we be the only couple getting married.  The day we got there was not a visitation day, but when we pulled up, the parking lot had more cars than I expected.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! There were about 10 more brides walking in the building.  Some even had on wedding dresses!  I was like wow… I’m not alone!  As we went through security, ok, I’m flashing back as I’m writing this, if you are a visual person,  just imagine brides lined up going through the metal detector.  Can’t help but laugh!  But hey, that was our special day!

Of course the ol’ rude arse guard (young but acting as if she’s old and miserable)  at the front did everything she could to try to ruin the mood of us brides. Very seldom do you get the Chick-fil-a treatment when visiting your loved ones in prison.   She and one bride had a few words.  Yes, the guard was wrong. But if the bride wanted to to be Mrs. she had to swallow her pride and bow down…  Uggghhh … As for me, Ms. Rude told me I had to change clothes. The dress I had on was considered inappropriate (now, this is a dress I added to my work wardrobe after the wedding). So, I had to go back to the car and grab another outfit to throw on really quick just to make it to my wedding so I too could become Mrs.

When we got to the visiting room, all of the grooms were seated on the front row side by side in their khakis waiting for their brides. The Mr. had his clean cut, starched khakis, and oils.  The prison chaplain  was in her robe ready to perform the ceremony.  One of the guards asked who wanted to go first?…  The Mr. and I volunteered to go first.   We entered this small room adjacent to the visiting room with Plexiglas windows.  All the other grooms and brides could see us.  My girls were right there as my maid and matron of honor as we exchanged our vows.  I think they cried more than us.  We were allowed a “torture kiss”,   about 20 minutes of visiting time, and photo time.  My girls played the role of photographers and placed us in wedding poses.

Although there were no flowers, coordinating colors, wedding cake, reception, aisle to walk down, or music we had the best 30 – 45 mins!  After we left,  the Mr. called and said we shouldn’t have gone first because they gave more time to those after us….oh well, you lose some you win some. That is my only regret from that day… Going first!